let’s see what comes up…

this is when it gets hard. when a few days go by and my initial bursts of energy begin to wane. i’ll reconnect to the blog! i’ll write every day! i’ll…i’ll…uh, wait, wha’?

so. i’m logging on to combat the inertia. to dash something off. even though i don’t have time. even though i have nothing clear in mind to say. hmm, let’s see what comes up. oh, here’s something:

1. a few hours ago i nearly had a fist fight with a mean mommy at vision therapy. she was rude to fluffy and rude to me. i opened my big mouth and said, what’s the matter with you? why are you mad at me? what did i do to you? i wished i had made a crazy gesture inside the private room of my mind and glued my lips shut in the very public waiting room of the real world. there was another mommy in the waiting room and she chimed in. it’s true! she said, jumping to my defense. i’ve been watching the whole thing and you’re taking your anger out on her for no reason! for a second, i felt pleased. vindicated. ha! take that! words were thrown around like a cafeteria food fight but very quickly i felt icky. i’m a confronter by nature but i don’t like it. i like when blue birds are flitting about and everyone is drawing smily faces and swapping recipes. i don’t know what this woman’s story is, was, may be. i willed myself to stop and seconds later the eye doctor called us in and saved the day.

2. she gave us the results of fluffy’s vision re-test and tadaa! after 6 months of weekly visits and daily eye exercises that have been tedious and grueling for fluffy, he has graduated from vision therapy!

3. i wished i could have said something to the mean mommy, something simple and expansive without getting into details like sorry about all that but by the time we left the place, both women were gone. fluffy and i went home, he to E. the magnificent sitter, me to my messy desk where for the last two hours i’ve been trying to get work done in between trips to the internet to read up on various things, none pressing. casey from american idol, for one. he’s got my vote. i love that james durbin, the young man with aspergers and tourettes, the one with the sweet fiance who leaves encouraging notes all around their house, the one with the sweet baby gurgling on the carpet. ‘he’s got an unfair advantage,’ my friend says. ‘autism. you know, perfect pitch, absolutely no self-consciousness on stage.’ which goes to show you how individual autism is because in her house, it’s true. her son has perfect pitch and a truckload of performance gifts and not a shred of awkwardness on the stage, dancing, singing, acting the lead in show after show and he’s all of ten. but in my house, animals howl when fluffy sings and the mere mention of acting something out is so agonizingly embarrassing, he might sock you in the nose.

4. someone forwarded a report on radioactivity. apparently, increased levels of radioactive iodine have shown up in massachusetts rain water. i, in turn, forwarded the article to a friend of mine and she wrote back “Bummer. I’d like to take all the nuke owners, who lie about the risks and cut corners on maintenance and safety, and air drop them into the reactor core in Japan. Then we can study them and see how safe it all is. Also, all owners should be required to live on the complex with their reactors and children, and eat only food grown on the property.” these comments struck me on many levels: (a) funny because she was clearly being outrageous, (b) frustrating because it would be impossible to enforce such a thing yet its outlandish nature ought to be enough for everyone everywhere to begin dismantling every colossally hazardous nuclear facility in existence, and (c) comforting because, well, maybe she would have yelled at the mean mommy in the waiting room too.

Advertisement